Life Lately 10.29.14

I'm relatively content where I am at the moment. Mostly because the emotional whirlwind I have been feeling lately reminds me I'm alive. Reminds me I have a beautiful family (even with all our imperfections) an adorable home (however small and also imperfect), a lovely community that surrounds us, and a budding career I can't get enough of.
I turned down a design position (or 2) I applied for. It was something I thought I really wanted but it wasn't part of my larger plan. Why hadn't I seen that before? I'm not sure. I guess I needed to see for myself if it could work out. Working freelance as a designer is just accommodating where working for someone else isn't. I wanted to be responsible and reliable to my employer. I wasn't sure I could be with 3 little people depending on me for everything. And I love them more than anything in the whole-world. Even design.
It didn't feel right. So I couldn't go through with it. I could never do something that didn't feel right. Trust your instincts and follow your heart. And as I listen I hope it'll take me exactly where I'd like to be.
And my babies are growing up. As do all children, so fast. Charlize, now 11 has been sporting my hand me down clothes. We've been visiting opening houses for high school, so it's been really emotional for me. I feel for her. I'm scared honestly. Situations are so much easier to control when they can barely open a door...
I just hope she continues to be open and talk to me, the way she babbles about boys and her friends. I listen eagerly and with interest because I know that's the most important thing to do to keep this communication on-going.  I hope to nurture her growing self.  So far it hasn't been that hard, yet.

I love you so much my big girl. Are y'all as terrified as I am in this day in age?  I'd love to know your concerns.



Andrea C said...

Oh my goodness, what a beautiful post. You're making me cry!

It feels like yesterday that you and Greg walked back into our lives with your pregnant belly lol!

Newly married and awaiting the birth of your first child, it was such an exciting time. Now 6 children later between the two of us, it's hard to sometimes come up for air and be in the moment.

Your posts like this remind me to slow down and try to be present.

Cannot believe that Charlize is on her way to high school, time has simply whizzed by.

But your ideas and nurturing have obviously been right on point as she is such an amazing girl.
She was the cutest and happiest little baby, an adorable toddler, a super sweet and beautiful little girl, and now...dare I say...almost a teenager?? Yikes, how nuts.

With a Mom like you it's no wonder she is such a great girl! Love you guys!!

Bianca Davila said...

Thanks so much Andrea! I appreciate that, and the time you took to read my post. I love you too!!!

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Maira Gall